Just fell off a train. Bad.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
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