Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
God, I missed his penis.
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