I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
