Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.

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(607): View more from New York

I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about

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(240): View more from Maryland

im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.

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(801): View more from Utah

Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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(906): View more from Michigan

My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.

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(233): View more from

I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love

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