youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
