Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
