I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
