My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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