and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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