you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
