Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
