I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
