You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
