After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Randomize
