We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
