maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Randomize
