then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
