Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Ketchup is God's man juice
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
