Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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