Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
