I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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