they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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