Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
