We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
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