I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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