physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
