we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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