I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
