if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
