I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
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