He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
