i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
