Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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