i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
