Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
