Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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