Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
