I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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