Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
