Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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