I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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