youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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