You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
