She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
This is classic penis vs brain.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
