nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
