Dual....:-)
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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