i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
