she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You're like the curious george of whores
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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