I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
