We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you will always have a special place in my vag
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dicks are not precious.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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