Already got asked if we're dating
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
